Following Pattern

Present day action leads to muse and write something. In 2014 social media still in infant stage made me notice a pattern which lead me to write Forwarding pattern .With social media now in its teenage years has started to show its attitude which has lead to another pattern emerging. Following Pattern. 

With the intention of reconnecting with alumni, old friends, colleagues there are school groups, university groups, ex-colleague groups, work groups etc. in various social media platforms like facebook, whatsapp. We all for sure are part of one or few of such groups. Most would be able to relate the following: One fine morning there would be one off group member sending in a birthday wish to a fellow group member. There would be a suit of group members following that and wishing. Sometimes it would not be that person's birthday and (s)he would patiently be replying stating this is not the day. But still wishes keeps coming in. 

This tendency in following a que message is becoming prevalent. The following pattern can be attributed to humans being social beings. It is a psychological need of humans to be part of the crowd. We like to be part of a group and get associated with that. Social media is designed to give this sense of security. Social media is a sweet little irritating rascal. Annoying but cutely annoying. Those with kids can relate to this. You can't be angry with them too long, will hook you back in with its charm.

Coming back to the pattern, where is the sincere thought in such a wish which was an outcome of the following pattern? Following someone to wish in a group could be considered as a lip service with a plastic smile. It is not genuine. Such namesake wishes miss deep connection with that individual. Behind the screen, the one who wishes feels I just post it which gives a personal gratification but has no worth or meaning when it is not sincere. 

Remembering a person (much better if not by reminders) and sending a private message on their birthday, anniversary indicates sincerity ingrained in the wish. This approach would be more effective in terms of strengthening communication and relationship with that individual. 

A step more would be to touch base with them on casual days to know their well-being. This for sure uplifts their day. Try this, call someone with no reason and have a causal chat and put down. If someone did that to you how good and important you would have felt. That is the same feeling which you would have given to the person whom you called. 

Let us all cherish relationships we have and grow together as better social animals 😊.

Wolverine and Kintsugi

Ebb and flow are part of life cycle. All have heard, read, seen but when the ebbs are felt, off the many who face it, those who come out are few. Why is it so? In game of life, while hearing, seeing and talking about this could be considered as easier levels of difficulty, feeling and going through it is different level of difficulty. 

When difficult times hit, there are two types of behavior that people portray from the way they respond:

1. Some are astute and resilient.
2. Some succumb, give up, get into depression or suicide.

The astute and resilient see solution to negativity is confidence in goodness, courage in acceptance and wisdom in seeing things as they are. This attitude lets them spring out of the situation which is seen as abyss by those who succumb and fall into depression. The astute who are generally victorious in wading the situation feel that what Wolverine feels when pain is felt. "The pain lets you know you're still alive. The battle isn't around you, it is within you". The astute suit themselves for occasion and outgrow when needed. The astute becomes Wolverine.

On the other spectrum who succumb should know that the fear of uncertainty is the killer. We all go to sleep with hope that we would wake up in morning. When we face this event which is the most uncertain fearless and with faith, shouldn't the question be why fear about any other uncertainty? Since we all face the most uncertain with faith aren't we all wolverines?

In one of the opening scenes in Bollywood Movie Pathan, Shah Rukh Khan, an exiled RAW agent discusses with his ex-boss Dimple Kapadia to help start an organization with team of ex-RAW agents. In their conversation there is mention of a Japanese word Kintsugi. It was something new and made me look for this word. Kintsugi which means "to join with gold" is an ancient Japanese art done by adding lacquer and powdered gold to broken pottery which makes the repaired pottery much more beautiful and valuable. The process usually takes months. This artwork shows how to embrace and find strength in imperfection with patience. 

If those who feel like succumbing to situation when an ebb hits them, face it with an attitude of wolverine and handle it with skill of kintsugi would sure bring out the best in them. Humans have lived ages and the progress made and seen are by the Wolverines with Kintsugi, who never give up and are patient. Humans have that mantle in them, if not would not have been able to come out of natural disasters, pandemics, social unrests, anarchy. Persistence and faith are the core values of such people. A belief that there is always a solution to every problem. Deep down they keep telling themselves, I didn't come this far to come this far only. 

The more people we have with Wolverine attitude and Kintsugi skill the mental wellbeing of society would be at bliss. Probably a way to utopian world.

Mental wellbeing through living spaces-II

During my usual commute in Singapore MRT, when the train is above-ground, I enjoy looking around. Gaze at buildings pass by, housing blocks being crossed, cars passing by on the roads, people waiting at signals for green man. Many more. Gave a sense of openness to the mind, relief from closed office spaces, various thoughts flash across. Overall a refreshed soul 😊 

Recently this scene has changed, even above ground there has been barriers erected on both sides of the tracks. The barriers cover almost three quarter off the vision through the train. The name for it goes as NOISE BARRIER. As the name would suggest it is probably a way in reducing the noise levels to surrounding housing blocks along the tracks. Fair move. But this is adding on to a subtle occurrence which over time might have undesired consequence to commuters, like me.

In most urban cities the dwelling spaces have reduced to almost 60~80sq.m. This is comparatively 50% reduction to the house sizes 20 to 30years ago. Closed spaces create a constricted feeling which causes a sense of claustrophobic effect to the brain. Chokes one from seeing far, that has side effect in limiting cognitive ability. When continuously looking into closed spaces, over time the brain is unable to assimilate things beyond certain level. Well in information age, the question would be - are these scientifically possible outcomes. As per geneticist Fred Gage "Changes in the environment change the brain, and therefore they change our behavior."  There seems truth behind the impact. But why does this happen?

Placing one in constricted areas over time causes compression to the gray matter of brain. The gray matter of brain is responsible for things like memory, muscle control and sensory perception. Brain adapts based on experiences. Continual exposure has impact on brain elasticity, also known as neuroplasticity.  The plasticity, which is the change in gray matter, directly related to spatial features. However, the impacts by spatial feature do not impact humans equally, but they do definitely shape our behavior. Some effects could be:

1. Cognitive disorders, 
2. Closed thought process, 
3. Irritability, 
4. Short temperament, 
5. Throw tantrums, 
6. Sense of limited independence, 
7. Diminished creativity.

With current urban living conditions, to avoid closed spaces is impossible. However, the impact they cause can be well reduced by allowing ourselves to be with nature as much as possible. This approach is similar to my earlier blog mental wellbeing through living spaces in which I shared how to increase positivity at homes and our lives.

Having said all off above, while I try to convince myself stating that the coping mechanism could be off some help, I still miss my views during train rides 😔 

But there is double decker buses. Read this blog written few years back about the euphoric feeling one gets while riding on double deck buses.

 Photos from: 8 Interesting Facts About Singapore's MRT That You Wouldn't Know – ExplorerSG and Relief from train noise, but new problem arises, Singapore News - AsiaOne